Soldier

As I walked along the beach this morning, I spotted a tan baby boy running around in his birthday suit. Playing with sticks and sand and anything else he stumbled upon. Tripping on his toddling feet. Later, as I circled back around to that same spot, I noticed him splashing in the blue saltwater, safe in his daddy's arms. So cute. So precious. So free. Easily joyful. Reminding me of the way that my Heavenly Father watches over me as I explore all that I can find. Allowing me to touch, examine, run, and fall. Picking me up gently. Wiping away any remnants of dirt and sadness. Then taking me into His big, open arms. Safe and secure. Like a baby unable to swim in the depths of the ocean clinging to his dad, I too cling to my Dad when I can't do it on my own. He holds me so effortlessly. And I know that I won't drown as long as I don't let go. Having complete trust in His capability and love for me. Full of faith, I enter the crashing waves nestled in my Father's arms.

On another part of the beach, I happened to glimpse a "just married" couple taking wedding photos near the water. She in her lovely long white wedding gown as he hoisted her up into his arms and held her tightly to his chest. Both of them beaming at the other. So in love. Fully committed to one another. Recently exchanged vows dancing in the breeze around them. Reminding me of the vow I made when I declared, "Jesus is Lord!" And was baptized into the kingdom of God. Full of faith and readiness to put Him first. Committing my life. To serve Him. To love as He loved. To lay down my life as He had lain down His. It is good to remember. So I never forget.

Tonight I babysat two adorable little girls. They are so cute! We had so much fun. I love listening to their dialogue when they play pretend. They have quite an imagination. Rainbow Dash and Glitter Shine having a sleepover and running away from the "bad guy" aka a little fury bunny. Rescuing elephants who really need to pee but are unable to get outside. Sailing on a dangerous ship and jumping off into the dark water below. A continuous strand of silly made-up words.

Currently listening to Phillip Phillips station on Pandora. This song came on. Soldier by Gavin DeGraw. What fitting lyrics for the thoughts in my mind today. Like God is singing to me. Always there for me. Even if no one else is. So here it is.

Soldier - Gavin DeGraw

Where did all the people go?
They got scared when the lights went low.
I'll get you through it nice and slow,
When the world's spinning out of control.

Afraid of what they might lose
Might get scraped or they might get bruised.
You could beg them, what's the use?
That's why it's called a moment of truth

I'll get it if you need it,
I'll search if you don't see it,
You're thirsty, I'll be rain,
You get hurt, I'll take your pain.

I know you don't believe it,
But I said it and I still mean it,
When you heard what I told you,
When you get worried I'll be your soldier.

Funny when times get hard,
At the last moment when you're supposed to charge,
Always on the longest yard,
Oh, they feel their feet getting cold.

Hiding here, hiding there,
Find them underneath the stairs,
People hiding everywhere,
Trying to be still like a stone.

I'll get it if you need it,
I'll search if you can't see it,
You're thirsty, I'll be rain,
You get hurt, I'll take your pain.

I know you don't believe it,
But I said it and I still mean it,
When you heard what I told you,
When you get worried I'll be your soldier.

My aim is so true,
I wanna show you,
I'll try forever,
I'm never gonna say "surrender".

I'll get it if you need it,
I'll search if you can't see it,
You're thirsty, I'll be rain,
You get hurt, I'll take your pain.

I know you don't believe it,
But I said it and I still mean it,
When you heard what I told you,
When you get worried I'll be your soldier.

I'll be your soldier
Well I'll be, oh I'll be your soldier
I'll be your soldier
I'll be your soldier

But I too can choose to be a soldier. I will be a soldier for Christ.

2 Timothy 2: 1-14 NLT
"Timothy, my dear son, be strong through the grace that God gives you in Christ Jesus. You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.

Endure suffering along with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. Soldiers don’t get tied up in the affairs of civilian life, for then they cannot please the officer who enlisted them. And athletes cannot win the prize unless they follow the rules. And hardworking farmers should be the first to enjoy the fruit of their labor. Think about what I am saying. The Lord will help you understand all these things.

Always remember that Jesus Christ, a descendant of King David, was raised from the dead. This is the Good News I preach. And because I preach this Good News, I am suffering and have been chained like a criminal. But the word of God cannot be chained. So I am willing to endure anything if it will bring salvation and eternal glory in Christ Jesus to those God has chosen.

This is a trustworthy saying:
          If we die with him,
              we will also live with him.
           If we endure hardship,
              we will reign with him.
          If we deny him,
              he will deny us.
           If we are unfaithful,
              he remains faithful,
              for he cannot deny who he is.

Remind everyone about these things, and command them in God’s presence to stop fighting over words. Such arguments are useless, and they can ruin those who hear them."


Exercise
Walking w/ two 5 lb weights (40 min)

Photos taken along my morning walk

Gecko listening to me play guitar

Lovely views

My Future...???

So basically, I have been having loads of thoughts lately. About my life. About my dreams. About my future. Things I want to do. Things I want to accomplish. Who I want to be. As you know, (due to the fact that I have said it time and time again) I want to be a mom. But that is not happening in my near future. So until I reach that point in my life - where I meet the man of my dreams who I am will spend the rest of my life with, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after - I need to live my single, adult life to the fullest. Which at times can be a little frustrating and confusing.

These are a few things about me. General points I'd like to address that I hope to use in my future life path.

1. I love creating. I love drawing, photography, recording videos, scrapbooking, editing (pictures, videos, scrapbooks, etc,) writing, baking, cooking, dancing, singing, guitar playing, writing songs, blogging (if that counts as creating,) making websites, and the list goes on.
2. I love loving. And I wish that everyone did to. And showed it. To everyone. I have a passion against bullying of any kind. When I hear stories about anyone getting bullied, my heart goes out to them. I instantly wish I could stop it. I wish that I could do something to make a difference. Be the change. Make people understand that it's not right. It's never okay to be cruel and treat people that way. No matter what. It hurts. I know first hand how much it hurts. And I want to do something about it. Not just talk about wanting to do something. But actually do something. But I don't exactly know how to go about that.
3. I want to help people. Truly help people. Be involved in the betterment of individual lives. I want to serve others. I want to give to those who have nothing. I want to make others happy. Hug them. Make them smile. Be a light.
4. I want to incorporate the truth. The word of God. His love. In whatever way that I can. In whatever way possible.
5. I want to love what I do. And while I know that many people hate their jobs, and get stuck doing it day in and day out just for the money, or whatever other reasons, I don't want that to be me. I want to be excited to be doing what I am doing. Because I know that it is possible. Because I am currently doing just that. And have been since I graduated high school.

So if there is anyone out there who can help me figure out how to go about using these points to understand what I want to do and how to do it, please feel free to leave it in the comment section below.

I thought I'd list a few qualities of mine that often causes me to fail. Knowing and admitting your faults is the first step to recovery as they say.

1. I can be easily distracted and forget my focus.
2. I procrastinate.
3. I am a perfectionist with mild, undiagnosed OCD.
4. I tend to be self-depreciating and often think I'm not (and never will be) "good enough."
5. I am unsure. Of myself. Of what I think. Of what I want.

I will try to work on these. Now that I have confessed them, I can change, right?

While we are making list after list, I figured, one more couldn't hurt. Here is a list of some things I want to do in my lifetime.

1. Visit a third world country and serve the needy.
2. Help at least one person to realize how special and amazing they are.
3. Teach others about God's love.
4. Travel and experience foreign cultures. [I will make it to Paris and London one day.]
5. Have children of my own.

My current desktop background.

A nice daily reminder of my dreams.

:)

Well, I hope your life is more decisive and focused than mine! Have a great day and thanks for stopping by!

Scared

So last night I watched The Call. Again. You know, watching a thriller a second time isn't thrilling. You know everything that's going to happen. It takes the thrill out of it. But my sister wanted to see it. So I took her. I tried to pretend to be scared, and join in the ruckus as the theater audience shouted, "What are you doing?" , "Call the police!" , "Don't go down there!" , "Don't tell him! Don't tell him!" , "I told you to call the police! Why don't you listen to me!?" and such.

It reminded me of how you can ride a rollercoaster, and it can be so scary the first time. Not knowing what to expect. Butterflies. Excitement. But for me at least, if I go on it enough times, I get immune to the thrill. Which is a bummer because the thrill is the best part of a rollercoaster. I love the feeling I get in my stomach when the rollercoaster drops and my stomach follows suit. I love the adrenaline rush.

But last night I fell asleep teary-eyed and scared about something else. Something completely different. Remember how I said I have to get all of my wisdom teeth pulled out? Well it's happening next Saturday. And I'm terrified. You see, my bottom right wisdom tooth (instead of pointing up like a normal tooth) is pointing to the left, into my other teeth. So they are going to have to slice it in half, extract that part, then go back and take out the rest. And on top of that, both of my bottom wisdom teeth are touching nerves, so he's going to have to be extremely careful not to touch them. Or else. I'm praying for strength and for it all to go well and smoothly. I'm kinda like, oh please just put me under. Well, it's next week, so I may be a little premature in my scared nature, but hey, me no likee pain!

This is definitely not the extent of things that frighten me. It's just my most current fear.

What frightens you? Leave it in a comment below :)

1 Peter 5:7 NIV
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

Happy Leap Day!

Happy Leap Day to you all!
I still think that it's strange that every four years has one extra day. A leap year. I know that it's to keep with the astronomical calendar, but it's still funny to me. What's also funny is the popular tradition in some countries that a woman may propose to a man on February 29. And if the man refuses, he then is obligated to give the woman money or buy her a dress. In upper-class societies in Europe, if the man refuses marriage, he then must purchase 12 pairs of gloves for the woman, suggesting that the gloves are to hide the woman's embarrassment of not having an engagement ring. In Ireland, the tradition is supposed to originate from a deal that Saint Bridget struck with Saint Patrick. This I read on wikipedia.  Which reminds me of the movie Leap Year. That was a cute movie. Here's the trailer:

HAPPY LEAP DAY TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD YEAR! :)

Nothing to Say

I think even when you have nothing to say, nothing important going on in your life, you still have stuff on your mind. Which is exactly where I am currently residing. In the land of thoughtful insignificance. I'm not sure if that's what I'm trying to say, or if that's even possible. But I feel the need to type something here and put it up. So here was my day in a snack pack:

Woke up. Got ready. Got kids ready. They left. I read. (current read is Where She Went) My ride came. I went to church. Kids Kingdom fun. Lunch Panera Bread. Baby Shower. Home. Swim. Home. Dinner. Talk. Blah. Yup. That's basically it.

Current scripture on my wall:

Ephesians 3: 20-21
     "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever! Amen."

Yes. This is the end of this here post. I hope to start blogging again. For myself. To reflect. It's definitely interesting to see what was going through my mind on a certain day or whatever, you know. I hope you have a good day. Happy birthday. If it's your birthday :)

Reality Show

Lately I've been thinking about reality shows. Why? Not sure. But I have been anyways. Like what kind of reality show could be made from my life, and would anyone watch it? What type of show would it be? Comedy, drama, happy, boring... that sort of thing. Then to think of all the repercussions of having your life out there for everyone to see. For anyone to edit and view the way they want to. It seems tough. You get "fame" but at what price? There are so many reality shows out there, you know. It's crazy. These are just normal (I use this term loosely) everyday people who are put in front of a camera. And we watch. There's shows where they place people in the same house and they are forced to deal with one another. While they party and have dramas - those are all the same. There are shows about little girls in beauty pageants and all that drama that goes along with it. Shows about teenage mothers. Shows about families with a thousand children. Shows with doctors doing surgery. Tattoo parlor shows. There are just SO MANY! Do you ever think about this? Would you ever want to have your life filmed and shown to the world? Would you?