Talents

Part of the lesson at Church today was on the parable of the talents. If you're unfamiliar, feel free to read the scriptures below before reading on.

Matthew 25:14-30 NIV
¹⁴ “Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them. ¹⁵ To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. ¹⁶ The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more. ¹⁷ So also, the one with two bags of gold gained two more. ¹⁸ But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.
¹⁹ “After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. ²⁰ The man who had received five bags of gold brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five bags of gold. See, I have gained five more.’
²¹ “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
²² “The man with two bags of gold also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two bags of gold; see, I have gained two more.’
²³ “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
²⁴ “Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. ²⁵ So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’
²⁶ “His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? ²⁷ Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.
²⁸ “‘So take the bag of gold from him and give it to the one who has ten bags. ²⁹ For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. ³⁰ And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

This is talking about money. The two were able to multiply what they'd been given. The third was greedy and tried to hide it away. In doing so he gained nothing. Rather he lost even that through his wickedness. He was thrown into the darkness, where there was a weeping and gnashing of teeth! Intense! God gives us so much. We need to be good stewards of it. To me this is talking about more than just money. Everything we have has been entrusted to us by God. Our wealth, our families, our gifts and talents. We should use all we have been given to glorify God. When we use our talents, they improve and become stronger. We may also acquire new talents. The more we do good for God, the more He will bless us, making us even more capable to do His work. By building our skillset and skill level. He sees how we glorify Him and He LOVES that. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. People often tell me that I sing well and should sing in front of people more often. But sometimes I don't think that I am actually that good. You know. Compared to so many others. But recently I'm realizing that it shouldn't matter what I think. It only matters what God thinks. So no matter how I may feel about it, I am going to try to be a better steward with the gifts that God has given me. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be sent into the darkness with gnashing of teeth. No thank you! Talents, get ready to be used! I posted a video on YouTube yesterday of the song I wrote to God. It's not perfect. But I did it in the hopes of glorifying God. If you care to check it out, you can find it in yesterday's post.

There was a quote I heard in Church today. I really liked it.

"In God, invest. And you will be blessed."

Stand Firm

After work I had another Bible Study with one of the teen girls. It was about motives. Her motives for wanting to study the Bible. Her motives on pursuing and building a relationship with God. This got me thinking back to when I was studying the Bible. Before I was baptized and decided to fully dedicate my life to God. At first I wanted to study the Bible because I was impacted by seeing people live out their faith. My motives were part awe, part curiosity. I knew I loved God, but I was unsure of what that meant for my life exactly. During my studies, I was connecting intellectually, but I knew something was missing. I knew God loved me and that he sent his Son to die on the cross for me. But it took me a while before I truly felt it deep in my heart. And once I realized that, there was no turning back. I knew that a life with God was the best way. The ONLY way. Each day I strive to do better, be better, live better. For God. Do what pleases Him and brings Him joy. To make Him smile. Because ultimately it is His opinion that matters. Who cares if the world doesn't agree? Who cares if people think I'm crazy? Who cares if I get teased and persecuted for my faith in Jesus Christ? Not me! I pray that for the rest of my life, I continue to stand firm in the faith I profess. That I may cling to God with all my might and never ever ever let go.

Proverbs 10:25 NIV
"When the storm has swept by, the wicked are gone, but the righteous stand firm forever."

Isaiah 7:9 NIV
"...If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all."

Matthew 10:22 NIV
"You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved."

Luke 21:19 NIV
"Stand firm, and you will win life"

1 Corinthians 10:12 NIV
"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!"

1 Corinthians 15:58 NIV
"Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."

1 Corinthians 16:13 NIV
"Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong."

Valleys

I really like the message at church today. So I thought I'd share some of it with you.

"Untested convictions are just good intentions." How absolutely true. You can have the best intentions and faith, but it's when you are tested and go through struggles, that the real you is revealed.

Psalm 23:1-4
"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

"All sunshine and no rain makes a desert." If you only have good things happen all the time, no rain/hard times, you are going to be a dried up Christian. That doesn't sound very good to me. No sir! You can't have sunshine all the time. It takes good times and bad times to make a mature person. We have pain and joy. Victory and defeat. Successes and failures. Mountains and Valleys.

Valleys are inevitable. Valleys are unpredictable. Valleys are impartial. No one us immune. Everyone has problems. Good people and bad people. Valleys are temporary. It's not going to last forever. You won't stay there forever. There will be relief. Think of Valleys like a tunnel. It's something you have to go through to get to where you are headed on the other side. Valleys are purposeful. When your convictions are tested, you find out where your convictions are.

What do you do when you go through Valleys?
-Refuse to be discouraged
-Remember that God is with me
-Rely on God's protection and guidance

Look at that Valley! Doesn't look so bad, huh?

Ben Rector

It's after 11:00 PM, and my mom isn't home yet. So I called her to make sure she is alright. She's praying with someone at their house. Of course. Typical mom. I love her. Just have to make sure, you know. Make sure she's safe. :)

I had a grand day today. No school due to a holiday. Whoop whoop. So I went walking this morning, whilst listening to, yes, you guessed it, my audiobook. Then I went and babysat one of the girls from my class. Super fun! Just me and her, playing all day. Roller skating, playing Doc McStuffins, playing dolls, eating pancakes and strawberries, reading books, having a picnic, hanging out at a campfire, and so much more. Yes, I had a great day. Then I hung out with my friend at a coffee shop, then finally got to see her new home. Exciting! Midweek was great. Everyone back together again. Fun times. Some men shared about what they took out of their six week series on Authentic Manhood. That was awesome. I love hearing people share about they've learned and what's impacted themselves the most. I'm nosy like that. Haha, just kidding. Talking, dancing, youngin' fun.

Exercise
Walking w/ two 5 lb weights (45 min)

James 4:10 NIV
"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up"

Ben Rector is my music love this week. I love his music. His lyrics. His voice. It's just good for my soul. Soothing. Calm. Oh so lovely. Here's one of my favorites.

She Is - Ben Rector

She hails from Boston

She hates the sound that goodbyes make
She loves Sundays and champagne
She can't stand the winter, she can't stand anything she can't change, she can't change
She is whatever she wants to be, she is a little of everything, mixed up, so tough in a beautiful way
She's got the world at her fingertips, she makes beauty look effortless
And I want everything she is she is she is
Oh I want everything she is
Well we talk for hours but she wrote the book on hard to get
No it don't matter what I say
I could buy her flowers but that's just too cliché to impress a girl like her but you know I kinda like it that way
She is whatever she wants to be, she is a little of everything, mixed up, so tough in a beautiful way
She's got the world at her fingertips, she makes beauty look effortless
And I want everything she is, she is, she is, she is oh she is
And all I think about and I can't do without the good, the bad, the somewhere in between
Oh because I want everything she is..
Whatever she wants to be she's a little everything, mixed up so tough, in a beautiful way
She is whatever she wants to be, she is a little of everything, mixed up, so tough in a beautiful way
She's got the world at her fingertips, she makes beauty look effortless
And I want everything she is she is she is
Cause I want everything she is she is she is cause I want everything she is she is
Oh yeah

Rules

Our preschool, like most places, has rules. Our four basic rules are: Be Safe. Be Kind. Use Words. Take Care of Property. We have a song that goes along with it. I sing it with the children daily. Especially when they fail to follow one of these rules. You know, to make sure they do remember them. Ask them how they weren't following the rule(s) and what they could do differently. Rules are set to make sure that the children all feel safe and behave accordingly.  Rules allow the children to know what is expected of them. To instill good values that they may carry on with them in their later years. But sometimes, children just don't listen. It's one of the facts of life. They don't listen. They get hurt. They hurt others. They hurt other things. Sometimes we have repeat offenders, who continue to do the same thing over and over no matter how many times they are told not to, or told to do something else. Sometimes I find myself thinking, Can't you see that I care about you? Can't you see that I just want you to be safe? Can't you see that I only want the best for you? I don't give you these rules to make you miserable, but on the contrary, so that you will be happy. So that you may learn and grow and thrive.

And then it hits me! This must be how God feels when I don't follow His rules. I read my bible. I know what his commands are. And yet, I often break them. I fall short. I misbehave in the eyes of God. I hurt myself. I hurt others. I hurt Him. God must be thinking, Can't you see that I care about you? Can't you see that I just want you to be safe? Can't you see that I only want the best for you? I don't give you these rules to make you miserable, but on the contrary, so that you will be happy. So that you may learn and grow and thrive. God, thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for Your gentle guidance. Thank you for Your continual unconditional love. Thank you for putting up with my childish, disobedient ways and never letting me go. Thank you for Your commands that were created to keep me safe and happy. I am thankful to be Your child.

Matthew 22:36-39 NIV
"'Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?'
Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

I saw a vibrant double rainbow as I was driving home today. Brilliantly contrasted against the sleeting rain and gray clouded sky. I love rainbows. God is saying, "I love you Kiko. Here's something beautiful I made for you today." Rainbows fill my heart with warmth and assurance. I see rainbows practically everyday. I am blessed. I know it.

I took my sister to get her haircut. All she cut were bangs. She says they are too short. And was being a little grumpy about it. But I offered to flat iron her hair for her and she perked up as bit. After the straightening, you can really see her bangs. I like them! I told her as much. They suit her face. I would show you a picture, but I don't think she wants paparazzi right now.

Listening to Phillip Phillips Station on Pandora. Current song playing is I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz. I love this song. Here you go, some ear dessert. You're welcome.

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well, there's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

Well, I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up, still looking up.

Well, I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

Happy Mommy's Day!!!

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Sang some songs to my mom and nana this morning for mother's day. Because they actually like my voice. That's what mothers and nanas are for. And for hugs and love.

Church was all about mothers today. Obviously.
Here are some key points that I took away:
-Love helps us to stick around. To persevere.
-When life happens, just pray.
-Kids: Love your mom.
-Mom: Love your kids.
-By honoring your mom, you are pleasing God.
-Set an example for your kids by living faithful to God.

After church we had a Mother's Day lunch at Tony Roma's. Delicious ribs and broccoli! Yummmmmy! Then we did some Target shopping before heading home. Haha.

I love you mommy! Thank you for all that you do for me each and everyday. Thank you for putting up with my craziness. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for taking me to church when I was four because I asked to know more about God, Jesus and the angels. Thank you for teaching me, daily, what it means to be a disciple and truly serve God. Thank you for teaching me to love. To be happy whatever the circumstance. You are not perfect. But you're perfect for me. You are my best friend. I wouldn't be who I am or where I am, without you and your love. I love you with all of my heart. Happy Mommy's Day. (:

Galatians 5:22-23 NIV
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Soldier

As I walked along the beach this morning, I spotted a tan baby boy running around in his birthday suit. Playing with sticks and sand and anything else he stumbled upon. Tripping on his toddling feet. Later, as I circled back around to that same spot, I noticed him splashing in the blue saltwater, safe in his daddy's arms. So cute. So precious. So free. Easily joyful. Reminding me of the way that my Heavenly Father watches over me as I explore all that I can find. Allowing me to touch, examine, run, and fall. Picking me up gently. Wiping away any remnants of dirt and sadness. Then taking me into His big, open arms. Safe and secure. Like a baby unable to swim in the depths of the ocean clinging to his dad, I too cling to my Dad when I can't do it on my own. He holds me so effortlessly. And I know that I won't drown as long as I don't let go. Having complete trust in His capability and love for me. Full of faith, I enter the crashing waves nestled in my Father's arms.

On another part of the beach, I happened to glimpse a "just married" couple taking wedding photos near the water. She in her lovely long white wedding gown as he hoisted her up into his arms and held her tightly to his chest. Both of them beaming at the other. So in love. Fully committed to one another. Recently exchanged vows dancing in the breeze around them. Reminding me of the vow I made when I declared, "Jesus is Lord!" And was baptized into the kingdom of God. Full of faith and readiness to put Him first. Committing my life. To serve Him. To love as He loved. To lay down my life as He had lain down His. It is good to remember. So I never forget.

Tonight I babysat two adorable little girls. They are so cute! We had so much fun. I love listening to their dialogue when they play pretend. They have quite an imagination. Rainbow Dash and Glitter Shine having a sleepover and running away from the "bad guy" aka a little fury bunny. Rescuing elephants who really need to pee but are unable to get outside. Sailing on a dangerous ship and jumping off into the dark water below. A continuous strand of silly made-up words.

Currently listening to Phillip Phillips station on Pandora. This song came on. Soldier by Gavin DeGraw. What fitting lyrics for the thoughts in my mind today. Like God is singing to me. Always there for me. Even if no one else is. So here it is.

Soldier - Gavin DeGraw

Where did all the people go?
They got scared when the lights went low.
I'll get you through it nice and slow,
When the world's spinning out of control.

Afraid of what they might lose
Might get scraped or they might get bruised.
You could beg them, what's the use?
That's why it's called a moment of truth

I'll get it if you need it,
I'll search if you don't see it,
You're thirsty, I'll be rain,
You get hurt, I'll take your pain.

I know you don't believe it,
But I said it and I still mean it,
When you heard what I told you,
When you get worried I'll be your soldier.

Funny when times get hard,
At the last moment when you're supposed to charge,
Always on the longest yard,
Oh, they feel their feet getting cold.

Hiding here, hiding there,
Find them underneath the stairs,
People hiding everywhere,
Trying to be still like a stone.

I'll get it if you need it,
I'll search if you can't see it,
You're thirsty, I'll be rain,
You get hurt, I'll take your pain.

I know you don't believe it,
But I said it and I still mean it,
When you heard what I told you,
When you get worried I'll be your soldier.

My aim is so true,
I wanna show you,
I'll try forever,
I'm never gonna say "surrender".

I'll get it if you need it,
I'll search if you can't see it,
You're thirsty, I'll be rain,
You get hurt, I'll take your pain.

I know you don't believe it,
But I said it and I still mean it,
When you heard what I told you,
When you get worried I'll be your soldier.

I'll be your soldier
Well I'll be, oh I'll be your soldier
I'll be your soldier
I'll be your soldier

But I too can choose to be a soldier. I will be a soldier for Christ.

2 Timothy 2: 1-14 NLT
"Timothy, my dear son, be strong through the grace that God gives you in Christ Jesus. You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.

Endure suffering along with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. Soldiers don’t get tied up in the affairs of civilian life, for then they cannot please the officer who enlisted them. And athletes cannot win the prize unless they follow the rules. And hardworking farmers should be the first to enjoy the fruit of their labor. Think about what I am saying. The Lord will help you understand all these things.

Always remember that Jesus Christ, a descendant of King David, was raised from the dead. This is the Good News I preach. And because I preach this Good News, I am suffering and have been chained like a criminal. But the word of God cannot be chained. So I am willing to endure anything if it will bring salvation and eternal glory in Christ Jesus to those God has chosen.

This is a trustworthy saying:
          If we die with him,
              we will also live with him.
           If we endure hardship,
              we will reign with him.
          If we deny him,
              he will deny us.
           If we are unfaithful,
              he remains faithful,
              for he cannot deny who he is.

Remind everyone about these things, and command them in God’s presence to stop fighting over words. Such arguments are useless, and they can ruin those who hear them."


Exercise
Walking w/ two 5 lb weights (40 min)

Photos taken along my morning walk

Gecko listening to me play guitar

Lovely views

Redirecting

I recently realized something. I am happy with who I am. With my body. With me. No, I am most certainly not perfect. Obviously. There will always be room for improvement physically. But for right now, in this time of my life, I am content.

This is not me "giving up" on my goal or anything like that. This is me finally realizing that I am more than what I look like. That I don't want to be on a "weight loss journey," but simply, a life-living journey. If that makes any sense at all. Because life itself is a journey. And I want to live my life to the most ultimate full that I possibly can. Without having to worry about or wonder what meal is coming next. What I'm going to eat or not eat, and how that will affect the way I feel about myself. Or how much exercise I must force upon myself so that I don't feel guilty for eating. Because it's just. not. fun. Not really. And I ask myself, how is losing weight benefitting anyone else but me? It's not. So why am I doing this to myself. I don't want to do things that only benefit me. How selfish. I don't want to be selfish. No way.

I've bought into the idea, along with most women, that I need to look a certain way to be beautiful. When truly, beauty is who you are. Beauty is your inner light. Your inner joy. Beauty is the personification of love. Beauty is loving others the way that Jesus loved. Loving from the depths of His heart and completely unconditionally.

So I have decided to remove my focus from fixing up my outward self and redirect it towards my inner self. I want my life to be important. I want to live my life full of meaningful purpose. I want to fix all of the ugly, disgusting sins that plague my heart and I want to transform my life. Really and truly. The only way that I know how to do that is through Jesus and His obvious demonstration of love for us all.

Romans 5:8 NIV
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Kiko and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day: Day 14

I am right now, currently, taking part in emotional eating.

I had a bad day. And I realize that having a bad day does not equate to stuffing my face and making my body suffer, you see, right now, I just don't care. I just ate a slice of cheese pizza. One Samoas. (Thank you Girl Scouts.) And presently have a quart of Baskin Robbins Gold Medal Ribbon sitting on the table in front of me, with a spoon. A spoonful of ice cream that I just jutted into my mouth. Yummmm.

Let's start from the beginning. Oh but before I start, let me warn you. SPOLER ALERT FOR THE MOVIE G.I. JOE: RETALIATION.

This morning, soon after my mom left the house I get a phone call. It's my mom. Our car got broken into last night. while. I. was. at. Hot. Yoga. What the heck? The thieves popped open the passenger side door lock, took a bunch of CD's (not all of the CD's that were in the car, just the ones on the passenger side,) the ash tray (with eight pennies! , ) popped open our trunk and took a printer, and possibly other stuff but I don't know what was back there. How did I not know that someone broke into the car?! Well, my purse was still in the trunk. Thank you God. I mean it. I hid it under a jacket close to the back of the trunk. Which is weird because if someone gets into the trunk of your car, they can take anything they want. Hiding things won't matter. But for some amazing reason, in my case, it did. Oh. And the thieves took our car papers. The deed, insurance etc. Why?! Who takes car papers!?!?! So my mom files a police report. But the DMV is closed today (state holiday) and so we can't really do anything about the papers.

So because of all this, I am running late, when for some odd reason I realize that my library books were due yesterday, and I planned on dropping them off at the library on my way to work, but because of all this, I am too late to stop at the library. And yes. I realize that overdue library books is no big deal. But I'm weird. I don't like overdue books. It makes my stomach hurt. Don't judge me. I get to work the fastest ever due to the state holiday and school is out for most. So thankfully I'm not late.

I go into work and start boiling the water for the Matzo Ball Soup we'd be having at morning snack. Man, water takes  f o r e v e r  to boil. But I get it going. However, I was talking to my mom about the whole car fiasco as I'm adding the water and I put too much. So after adding the packets of soup mix I realize it's too watery. I add in the matzo balls that I prepared yesterday and had in the refrigerator, so they don't get as soft as they should and take longer to cook, and I totally could have just done everything this morning instead of starting yesterday and blah di doo. I end up having to cut all 40 plus balls in half. Divvy it out for the three classrooms. And deliver it. Of course the kids love it and continuously want more until it's all gone. So okay. This soup business doesn't count as a problem. But at the time, I was a little upset that it wouldn't turn out good, and if you know me, you know I'm a perfectionist. Especially about the things I know how to do well. If you are a perfectionist, you understand.

On my break I called the dental office (the one where I'm having my surgery tomorrow) back to ask some questions. Which just made me think more about tomorrow. Which I am very much so NOT looking forward to. The four wisdom teeth that are getting pulled. The pain. To be sedated, to not be sedated. The cost. The painful cost. And because of this, I had less time to read my book during my break. And I just thought more about my teeth. And I can't eat or drink anything, including water, eight hours prior to my surgery. I wonder if I'll be able to eat after my surgery. Who knows.

Later on in the afternoon, my mom pulls me on the side to pray with me. I'm so confused. The paramedics and fire department are at our house because my sister's heart sped-up, or slowed-down, and she called 911. (She was home because they didn't have school today due to the state holiday.) And she would be taken to the emergency room. So my mom had to leave work to go meet her there to see what happened. We didn't understand what was going on. And my nana called crying. And I'm not going to say what happened with my sister exactly. This is the internet. But my mom went to to my sister. To the hospital. And I stayed at work. Confused.

So we were supposed to go to this Good Friday, Easter service thing with my Nana at her church. But because of everything that happened, I was just waiting around the phone to see what the deal was. When I finished work, I saw that my mom had texted me. They were at the hospital still. Waiting for test results. She said to go do something with Miss Gayle and then bring her home to our house, and my mom would take her home. So I was like, okay, no Easter thingy I guess. So I checked movie times. Now, you know I really wanted to see The Host. I also wanted to see G.I. Joe: Retaliation. And The Host wasn't playing for another three hours. And there was a G.I. Joe showing in one hour. So we decided to watch that. It took us a while to find parking. But we found a spot. Got our tickets. Got our seats. And our popcorn. And it was all good. Until. Channing. Tatum. Died! I could not believe it! They killed Channing Tatum. Like, five minutes into the movie. I was so shocked. I couldn't. I just. I was like what?! Are you kidding me?! Aw man, we shoulda just waited the three hours to see The Host! How could they just kill of Channing Tatum?! Gahh!! Now, I will say this. It was a great movie. But THEY. KILLED. CHANNING. TATUM! And in the beginning! My favorite part was when Snake Eyes and Jinx were fighting the guys on the mountain. Now that was pretty wicked. It was so fun to watch. And then, Zartan blew up London! My city! (Today I was looking at places to rent there if I so chose to move there one day. Purely out of curiosity and fun.) And while I knew that was going to happen since it was in the trailer, I was still upset. At least they saved the world. But Duke! Why did he have to die? I don't get that. See, if everything in the movie happened the way it happened, and Duke didn't die, it would have been the best movie ever. But he died. So I don't really think I'll need to watch that movie ever again. That was the stupidest thing to make him die. Channing Tatum. Channing Tatum. But alas, life goes on.

After the movie finished, I checked my phone and saw that I had missed calls and texts from my nana asking me if we were coming to the Easter thingy tonight! I instantly felt so terrible. I didn't know she was still going. I didn't know my mom didn't tell her that we weren't, due to the whole sister thing. I felt bad. And I was like, ah! In my head. I didn't mean to! I texted her back that I was so sorry and such. Man. Mean Kiko. I didn't even know. As Duke died, I was unintentionally letting my nana down. :(

On the drive home I just talked to Miss Gayle. Basically all that I just told you. And I prayed that God would allow everything to go well with my surgery tomorrow. And that I would miraculously be totally good afterwards. So good. No chipmunk cheeks. No pain. No bruises. So that I can go to the Easter service thingy with my nana tomorrow. Because there's another one. Tomorrow. Prayer is powerful. I totally believe that I could wake up from my surgery, walk out of there good as can be. Go watch The Host with my mom, and go to the Easter service with my nana. Yup. I have faith. In God. Please God. Please.

My mom is driving Miss Gayle home. She told me not to feel bad about missing the thing tonight. But I do. That's who I am. I feel bad for things. And I am at my computer venting this all out to you. My sister is in her room sleeping. So I am unable to pester her and figure out what the heck happened today. And I need to know. Goodness.

But I must say. I do feel a whole lot better having vented it all out. It's a release of some sort. And by the way, my emotional eating wasn't so bad. I only had the one slice of pizza, one cookie, and maybe 1/2 a cup of the ice cream.

Still thinking about Channing Tatum. Okay. My favorite movie of his is hands down, She's the Man, with Amanda Bynes. Actually, it's one of my most favorite movies of all time as well. And recently my sisters and I have been watching it all day err day. Well, not factually, it most certainly feels like it. It's the best :) And in that movie, his character's name is Duke. In G.I. Joe, his character's name is Duke. Haha. Just thought I'd say it.

My nana just got home and I went outside to hug her and tell her I'm sorry about not coming and how I felt all bad and everything. And she said no worries. But it was great. And I told her about my prayer for a miracle tomorrow. And about Channing Tatum. And how they killed him off so quickly. She watched it last night with my papa. Why did you do it? Why'd you kill him off? But anyways, now I feel even better. Cuz I hugged my nana. And she's praying for my miracle tomorrow. :)

Maybe my day wasn't soooo bad. But little things, when added up all together, make something seem big. Just sayin'. But there's always balance. So maybe today was so bad for me, because tomorrow is going to be great! Faith! :)

Food Intake
Apple
Water
2 String Cheeses
Matzo Ball Soup
Matzo
1 Tbsp Sabra Roasted Pine Nut Hummus
1/4 cup of Egg Salad [Hard-Boiled Eggs, Mayonnaise]
Banana
1/3 cup Strawberry Yogurt
Water
Stick Cheese
Matzo PB&J
Kiddie Movie Popcorn with Butter
Kid's Strawberry Icee
Reese's Pieces
Mochi Crunch
Slice of Papa John's Cheese Pizza
1 Samoas
1/2 cup Ice Cream
Water

Exercise
None

Channing Tatum as Duke in She's The Man

 Channing Tatum as Duke in G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Matthew 6:19-21 NIV
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."