Redirecting

I recently realized something. I am happy with who I am. With my body. With me. No, I am most certainly not perfect. Obviously. There will always be room for improvement physically. But for right now, in this time of my life, I am content.

This is not me "giving up" on my goal or anything like that. This is me finally realizing that I am more than what I look like. That I don't want to be on a "weight loss journey," but simply, a life-living journey. If that makes any sense at all. Because life itself is a journey. And I want to live my life to the most ultimate full that I possibly can. Without having to worry about or wonder what meal is coming next. What I'm going to eat or not eat, and how that will affect the way I feel about myself. Or how much exercise I must force upon myself so that I don't feel guilty for eating. Because it's just. not. fun. Not really. And I ask myself, how is losing weight benefitting anyone else but me? It's not. So why am I doing this to myself. I don't want to do things that only benefit me. How selfish. I don't want to be selfish. No way.

I've bought into the idea, along with most women, that I need to look a certain way to be beautiful. When truly, beauty is who you are. Beauty is your inner light. Your inner joy. Beauty is the personification of love. Beauty is loving others the way that Jesus loved. Loving from the depths of His heart and completely unconditionally.

So I have decided to remove my focus from fixing up my outward self and redirect it towards my inner self. I want my life to be important. I want to live my life full of meaningful purpose. I want to fix all of the ugly, disgusting sins that plague my heart and I want to transform my life. Really and truly. The only way that I know how to do that is through Jesus and His obvious demonstration of love for us all.

Romans 5:8 NIV
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."